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Curiosity and patience in crucial conversation

Two for You — take two minutes to live and lead with intention

Episode 5.7

Some conversations are hard. How can you stay engaged when you might want to start drifting? Consider these four reminders to get your through your next difficult (and crucial) conversation.

  1. Be sincere.

  2. Be curious.

  3. Stay curious.

  4. Be patient.

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Transcript

Note: Two for You written transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors. Please check the corresponding audio before referencing content in print.

[Denise] Hello and welcome to Two for You. I'm not sure about you but when I'm stressed or I'm in a difficult conversation sometimes it's really hard for me to truly listen. The authors of crucial conversation offered these four steps to take if you want to listen closely and stay engaged with another person and they suggest these. 

First be sincere, second be curious, third stay curious, a little difficult on that one, and four be patient. Those steps sound great but what do they really look like in our lives. 

[Lori] Yeah, so the first one be sincere, right. So we've all been in those conversations when we know the other person doesn't really care what we're …what we're saying or really want to engage. This … the … um basis of authenticity, be authentic to who you are but also authentic to wanting to engage in this conversation. 

The second one is to be curious and that is really around taking interest in the person that you're having a conversation with and what they're saying. And that might mean you know asking some questions.  

And then staying curious. And this can be hard as Denise already said, right. So it can be hard when you're not agreeing with what they're saying and so you may have to do some practicing of some grounding techniques in there and um to bring yourself back to the conversation. Take some deep breaths and practice some mindfulness in that.

And the fourth one being patient is can help to remember your why. Why is this conversation important to you? The topic? Why is this person or this relationship important to you? So that you can remember that you can be more present and also to be patient in the conversation. 

[Denise] So be sincere, be curious, stay curious, and be patient. So you can listen well as you live and lead with intention.


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Authors: Lori Rothstein, Extension educator, leadership and civic engagement; Denise Stromme, former Extension educator

Reviewed in 2021

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