Safe space for challenging conversations

What effective practice looks like

Caring adults or youth workers are in a unique position to create spaces for youth where they feel safe about sharing their ideas and points of view. Caring adults don’t need to do this perfectly, we just need to be willing to take a risk, check our own biases and open an imperfect but safe space. Below are ways to create a safe and respectful space with a supportive tone.

• Acknowledge the possible discomfort of participants and reassure them that their feelings are valid and their contributions to the discussion are valuable. Acknowledge that you might also feel uncomfortable instigating the conversation. Discuss the components of a group agreement. Help the group incorporate an agreement they are all comfortable with.
• Insist on the use of active listening by all participants. Active listening demonstrates unconditional acceptance and unbiased reflection. Active listening requires that the listener try to understand the speaker's own understanding of an experience without the listener's own interpretation.
  • Give your undivided attention with your body language. Active listeners need to communicate to the speaker that they are involved and giving the person unconditional attention .
  • Paraphrasing the speaker's message (both content and feelings) by restating, in the listener's own words, what the listener thinks the speaker is trying to say. This must be done without making judgments about the speaker's message. 
  • Ask questions to encourage the speaker to elaborate on his or her beliefs or feelings.  
• Facilitate dialogue vs. discussion or debate. In discussion or debate we are constantly defending ourselves. In dialogue we can voice our concerns, knowing others may disagree, yet will listen, acknowledge our concern and offer a differing viewpoint. True dialogue will not occur without a safe environment where people are willing to be vulnerable to sharing their thoughts and being willing to listen to others ideas.  By facilitating constructive civil dialogue amongst youth, they have the opportunity to:
  • Actively listen and seek to understand others' viewpoints without an intent to respond or offer a defense.
  • Seek opportunities for agreement and connection between differing perspectives.
  • Inquire into others' assumptions that support their positions and remain equally open to receiving inquiry about their own assumptions.
  • View the process as an opportunity to learn.
  • Search for collective meaning among divergent viewpoints.