How do I talk to kids about an overdose death?
The death of any loved one or friend can bring with it many different and unexpected emotions. However, when someone dies from an overdose the connection to substance use disorder (SUD) and associated stigma can create additional layers of complex emotions, making the death especially difficult to talk about and process.
Guidelines by age
Though it’s important to explain what happened with your child, it might not be appropriate to go into too much detail at first. Consider your child’s age when discussing the overdose. The Pathways Center for Grief and Loss suggests the following guidelines based on age:
Ages 3 to 5
Stick to the basics, but be clear about what happened. Be ready to explain death (“the body stops working”) and to answer the same questions multiple times.
Ages 6 to 8
Be ready to offer reassurance, and look for signs of “magical thinking” where children believe something they did caused the loved one to die. Children may also not understand that death cannot be reversed and you may have to explain that it’s permanent.
Ages 9 and older
For ages 9 to 12, continue to remind your child that you are there to support them, as they may worry about being abandoned.
For teenagers, it’s important to share most of the information with them because they likely have some knowledge about drugs. Approach the conversation like you are talking to an adult.
Adverse childhood experiences
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are traumatic events experienced during childhood and remembered as an adult. Though the long-lasting effects of ACEs differ based on people’s support systems and how they cope, these events often shape how people perceive and interact with the world, even as adults.
8 things to know when talking with young children
- Don’t feel the need to share all of the information at once.
- Use clear language (“passed away” is not as direct as “died”). Be sure to explain the role substance use disorder played in the overdose. Example, “Uncle John died last night. Died means his body doesn’t work anymore. He can’t breathe, he is not alive like he used to be.”
- Emphasize that the child is not responsible for the choices and actions of the person who died. This point may be critical when a child’s parent overdoses.
- Express your emotions during your explanation.
- Encourage your child to ask questions. If the children are old enough to ask questions, they are old enough to hear the answers. The questions your child asks are a good way to gauge what they are ready to listen.
- While avoiding the topic of substance use disorder in relation to the overdose death might feel easier, it is important to provide your child with this information.
- Your child may also feel like you lied about the death and lose trust in you or other family members. How open you are about the role of drugs or alcohol now could affect how open your child is with their own use of drugs and alcohol in the future.
- SUD is not a disease that a child can easily see. As you explain what happened, it might be helpful to explain that substance use disorder changes how the brain works, causing people to feel really bad if they do not take the drug or medication. Example: “The brain can get sick like the rest of your body. [Loved one]’s brain got sick with a disease called substance use disorder that made it hard for them to go through each day without drugs or alcohol.”
When friends and family are grieving an overdose death
Even if a person living with substance use disorder (SUD) has not died from an overdose, family members may experience anticipatory grief. This type of grief occurs when people process and accept a potential loss before it happens. It can connect to death or other types of loss. Overdose deaths are commonly associated with SUD, a chronic condition that can impact how someone acts and interacts with other people.
What makes an overdose different?
Before the death of the person with SUD, family members and friends may have experienced months or years of difficult interactions with their loved one. For this reason, unexpected emotions may arise during the grieving process.
Family and friends may feel:
- Anger and frustration because the person who died continued to use drugs despite the negative impact on their life.
- Guilt because they wonder if they could have done more to help.
- Relief because they do not have to worry about their loved one anymore.
Like deaths from suicide, an overdose death can be viewed as something someone chose as opposed to the result of a disease. It may also be unclear whether the overdose was intentional or accidental.
Each of these layers can make it difficult to talk about what happened with children and help them process the death.
If you or someone you know is struggling with a mental health crisis, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org for support and resources.
- BigFoot, D. S., Lamb, K., & Delmar, M. (2018, November). Honoring children: Treating trauma and adverse childhood experiences in American Indian and Alaska Native communities. CYF News.
- Center of the Developing Child. (n.d.). ACEs and Toxic Stress: Frequently Asked Questions.
- Centers for Disease Control (CDC). (2022 June 2). Adverse Childhood Experiences, Overdose, and Suicide.
- CDC. (2019 August 13). Prescribing Practices.
- CDC. (2022 August 5). Disparities in Suicide.
- CDC. (2021 April 2). Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).
- CDC. (2022 August 18). Prescription Opioids.
- McMurrin, L., Cournoyer, D., & Beaulieu, S. (Host). (2021-present). Remembering Resilience [Audio podcast]. Tribal N.E.A.R. Science & Community Wisdom Project.
- Safer D. J. (2019). Overprescribed Medications for US Adults: Four Major Examples. Journal of Clinical Medicine Research, 11(9), 617–622.
Reviewed in 2025