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Two for You — take two minutes to live and lead with intention

Episode 2.7

Do you tend to fall into the trap of negative self-talk? If so, you’re not alone. As leaders and active members of our communities, we can improve our practices through self-compassion. Why not take a couple of minutes to learn about the three elements of self-compassion that can boost your resilience and in turn, your leadership.



Note: Two for You written transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors. Please check the corresponding audio before referencing content in print.

[Denise] Hello and welcome to Two for You. Today we're going to concentrate on you and your leadership through self-compassion. Dr. Kristin Neff has conducted research on self-compassion that highlights three main elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness, and Lori is going to share a little bit more of each three.

[Lori] Yes. So we all need a little bit of this, right? So the first one she talks about is the idea of self-compassion versus self-judgment. So when things aren't going right, when you travel throughout your day, I like to think about it as that inner voice. What is that "self-talk" that you're giving yourself? Are you judging yourself for what went wrong and thinking about the negative pieces? Or are you able to give yourself a little bit of freedom and some forgiveness in that, like you would to a friend or a colleague. So, the self-kindness piece. The second piece that she has found in her research is around common humanity versus isolation. So instead of thinking about how I'm the one who made a mistake and really isolate ourselves in a mistake or in a negative moment or something that didn't go right, the way we had planned - remember that mistakes and having life not go as planned is common to humanity. Life isn't seamless, things are going to happen the way we didn't want them to. And the last one is mindfulness versus over-identification, and instead of really beginning to identify with the mistake, move on, take a moment, reset, be kind to yourself, and go get beyond it.

[Denise] Thanks, Lori. And so as you continue this month, take some time to be compassionate to yourself through self-kindness, recognizing common humanity, and being mindful as you live and lead with intention.

Authors: Lori Rothstein and Denise Stromme, former Extension educators

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